Before you type “How to choose a career?” on google you must read this article
Most people are extremely unhappy, disengaged, disillusioned and dissatisfied with their careers. An average person spends one-third of their life working, and if that part of their life sucks, it impacts other areas of their lives too resulting in the person being frustrated, moody, angry, disappointed and insecure.
Everyone around us tells us it’s normal to feel like that, life sucks, career sucks, and we need to carry on, right?
But what if that isn’t true?
What if there is a way out, a way to build a career that you can enjoy, leading to a happy, content, fulfilling and amazing life?
Irrespective of where you are in your career, whether you are just starting, midway or far ahead, if you are unhappy and feel stuck, the following 5 steps will help you find your way out, to build a career you love!
Know who you are
Most people live their entire lives not getting to know themselves. In the absence of not knowing their strengths, value system, beliefs, patterns, subconscious blocks and passion, they end up imitating the people they think are “successful”, or following what they have been taught as success – more money, a bigger house, big car, exotic vacations and so on, thus living a life of deceit and self-doubt.
Their life mantra becomes – I will be happy when ….
Reality Check – If you are not happy NOW, you can never be happy in the future!
Trying to become who we are not or forcing ourselves to live a life that is not aligned with our beliefs and priorities, can be extremely energy-draining and tiring, devoid of excitement, fun and enthusiasm to create a better life!
Work on your insecurities
An insecure person is a scared person!
Research shows that a large part of our personality forms during the initial 7-14 years of our lives. We are then subconsciously living that personality for the rest of our lives.
During those important formative years, we have been conditioned to believe that we are not enough. We have been reminded over and over again what we are not good at and why we can’t pursue our dreams. We have been told why standing out or pursuing a crazy idea would never give us security. We are shown examples of people who have tried and failed and since we trust and believe our elders, we assume what they are saying is true and begin to build our lives with those perspectives and beliefs.
All of this results in us growing up low on self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence and our only goal becomes to prove ourselves to others.
Unless you find a way to rewire your subconscious and start believing and accepting yourself the way you are, building a career you love will remain a fantasy.
Find what comes naturally to you
Myth – If my passion is not my career, I can never be happy at work.
Wrong! Let me tell you why.
I know someone (an IT professional) who loves music. Music is his passion and life. While he wants to build a career out of music, he also understands that this goal can take time.
So, what did he do – give up and compromise – absolutely not!
He rethinks again “how to choose a career he loves”
He found like-minded people and created a band, using time outside work to do events, create music videos and work on his skills.
I am sure in a few years; he will be able to convert this into a full-time career.
Is he unhappy now – no, since he has found a way to integrate what he loves doing as part of this life. In fact, he is doing much better at work knowing he is also spending time on his passion.
Another client of mine loves mountains and trekking, he has ensured that he does treks at regular intervals by creating and announcing his leave plans at work at the beginning of the year.
He has found a way to integrate what he loves into his life too.
It is never either/ or, it is always “AND”. Find ways to add what you love doing to your life and see the magic happen!
Also Read: How to become a certified career counsellor?
Set boundaries
Don’t become a slave of your jobs. I know a lot of people who work for 14-16 hours every day and yet are stagnant, and unhappy with no growth or appreciation.
Myth – Hard work is the key to success.
Reality – Smart work is the key to success.
In the absence of understanding our own priorities, we are forced to work on the priorities of others.
Dr Demartini says – “If you don’t fill your day with high-priority items, your day will be filled with low-priority distractions!”
With no focus, no clarity, and no goals, most people keep reacting to life’s situations, saying “Yes” to everything that comes their way. They find ways to stay busy and confuse being busy with being productive.
Setting healthy boundaries at home and at work, saying “NO’ when needed, asking for what you want, being productive, upskilling, unlearning and learning is mandatory if you want to enjoy work.
Our careers are not our lives, they are a part of our lives. It is important to create a balance across all the important areas of our lives – Finance, Health, Relationships, Fun, and Contribution.
The wise man will contemplate “how to choose a career he loves?”
Get comfortable with discomfort
We are wired to grow. Irrespective of where you are and what you are doing, if you are not growing, you are dying a slow death.
In order to not fail and not be termed a failure, we stop taking risks. We keep working in a bubble that is familiar yet does nothing to help us move forward. This life indeed sucks!
Find ways to challenge yourself, stretch, and pick up assignments that are outside of your comfort zone. Be proactive and add immense value to the stakeholders that you work with, build great relationships, show up as yourself, give 150% wherever you are, be proactive and get rid of your fears.
When you do all of the above, you are forced to pick up new skills, new behaviours, and new ways of thinking and very soon, you start loving yourself, your life and your career which is a part of your life becomes great too!
What I have mentioned above are tested steps that I work on with my clients on a day-to-day basis. If implemented the right way, it can change your outlook on life and definitely help you build a career that you can be proud of.
It’s your life – make it large!
Submitted by Deepa Chandrasekaran,
